I am half listening to the annual Eurovision Song Contest and thinking, yet again, what a load of shit the whole thing is. Not only are the songs poor and the performances bland, but the voting is a joke. I am prepared to bet (even halfway through) that the British entry will not be in the top ten. That's partly because it is piss poor, but also because the countries club together in supporting their neighbours - and no one likes the Brits, except the Irish, oddly.
Graham Norton gamely tries to make his (largely gay) audience think that this is a real competition and that it is somehow important. But everything knows that it is anything but that. I preferred Terry Wogan's cynical and sometimes bloody rude commentary, but I can't blame Norton for trying to bring some credibility to this so-called contest, which is well past its sell-by date. Britain last won this in 1997 with Katrina and the Waves, and previous winners were Bucks Fizz in 1981 (pictured), Brotherhood of Man in 1976, Lulu in 1969 (jointly), and Sandie Shaw in 1967. None of the songs were particularly inspiring, but had a certain Eurovision 'Boom bang a bang' quality. But that was before Europe expanded to include parts of Asia such as Azerbaijan and certainly before most of Europe hated the UK.
Never mind. I have nothing better to do this evening as I am surrounded by packing cases ahead of my move to the country on Tuesday. So I don't give a rat's arse who wins. But I will eat my record collection if the UK entry wins.