English as she is spoke

The story about how two friends and I were shown the door by an armed security guard at a hotel in Nashville on our recent US trip has gone around the world, appearing as far afield as Ghana, Canada and Qatar. The best report has to be this one, which appears to have been translated into Russian and then back into pidgin English. Hilarious!
Armed ensure forced us out of US hotel

The nation song fans had pre-ordered bedrooms during a hotel in Nashville, Tennessee — though on attainment were denied entrance since of a bookings mix-up.
The conditions escalated when a jet-lagged men, who had landed usually hours earlier, mentioned giving bad feedback on TripAdvisor to a receptionist.
Retired mechanism programmer Alan Lloyd, 69, said: “He told us he would not now lease us any bedrooms and we had to leave. Then he summoned an armed ensure who stood with his palm on his gun as we picked adult a suitcases and returned to a car we’d hired.”
Mr Lloyd, of Muswell Hill, and friends Nick Cobban, 65, a late PR manager from Upton Grey, Hampshire, and John Howard were stranded and had to expostulate to 4 other hotels in a early hours before anticipating bedrooms for a night.
Journalist Mr Howard, 67, of Leigh-on-Sea, Essex, said: “This was a initial night of a holiday and it unequivocally got off to a calamity start.
“It was insane. He had dull rooms, dual had been paid for in allege as we wanted to be certain we had somewhere to stay — nonetheless here we were, totally sleepy out and we couldn’t get in.”
The receptionist during a Knights Inn pronounced he indispensable a fourth celebration member, who had requisitioned by credit card, to be in assemblage to concede entrance to a rooms. But it after transpired that Lee Wilkinson, an accounts manager from Stratford, had already arrived that day and was available his friends in a room upstairs with no mobile network vigilance to hit them.
Mr Wilkinson, 62, said: “I wondered what had happened to a others, either they had missed their flights or what. we didn’t dream they were in a accepting area watchful for me.
“A elementary phone call to my room by a clerk would have solved a problem, that was totally unnecessary.”
Hotel manager James Patel after apologised for a blunder and offering a ignored stay to a 4 friends, who were on a two-week outing final month.
He added: “I have reprimanded a member of staff concerned and explained that nonetheless he should follow a manners he needs to be flexible.”
Mr Howard said: “This arrange of thing reflects badly not usually on Nashville though a whole US traveller industry.
“Armed hotel guards are unheard of in Europe. I’m astounded that they could be incited on hotel guest who have pre-paid for their rooms.”
Derogatory reviews of a hotel on Trip Advisor have captivated quick retorts from Mr Patel in a website’s comments territory in a past. One reviewer who gave a one-star rating was met with a reply: “We apologize that we didn’t accommodate your expectations.
“You were looking for Hilton standards and ambience. The rate during a Hilton downtown was $350 per night and tax, parking $40 per night, breakfast to be paid by guest and assign for wifi, fridge and microwave.
“You paid us $40 with all a above listed things enclosed in your price.”